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French kissing.  Tongue wrestling.  Face sucking.  Lip Locking.  Spit swapping.  Whatever your term selection for tonguing affection,  kissing is the shiznit, no?  An upper persuasion for a lower invasion, as they say.  If romance movies have taught us anything, it’s that a knee weakening, head dizzying, passionate tongue tango is all the erotic prodding a sexy pair of undies needs to head south for a breather.  But on the flip side, experience has taught us that a knee locking, spark-free spit exchange void of palpable passion…

Well, the undies will never know, will they?  😉

We’re all looking for a home run when it comes to sex…but all the bases must be touched to get there.  And, who’s on first? Why, the kiss, of course.  Without the success of a hot sultry kiss, the batter is as likely to get to second base as an inebriated Homer Simpson sporting not-so-tighty whities and shoelaces tied together.  Three strikes be damned!  He’s out!

Kissing is the universal language of love.  A must – or bust!  But why?  In a society obsessed with Germ-X and antibacterial redi wipes, why do we kiss in the first place?  Going to such great lengths to protect our delicate hands from icky germs, but tongue probing the unknown bacterial depths of the infamous dirty mouth?

We have our reasons…however manipulative they may be.

As with everything else relationship, men and women speak a different language when it comes to kissing.  Both have subconscious biologically driven motives for the kiss.  Both use it to get what they want.  And both just down right love it.  It’s the sex before the sex, right?  But that’s where the similarities end.  As usual, men are straight forward.  As his tongue does the persuading, he’s already “pointing” to what he wants.  She, on the other hand, is persuading with her tongue, but keeping what she wants a mystery to him.  Nothing new there, huh?

Our ulterior motives are devilishly different.  And we’ve perfected the kiss as a tool to meet those motives.  One way or another, we’re in it to win it…whether “it” is sex, connection, or long-term bond.  We kiss for a reason.  When first getting to know someone, we have no idea if he/she would make a good sex partner.  We need to test the waters before leaping in.  Evaluate his/her mating potential.  So we let our tongues do the stalking.  😉

We kiss to:

Assess a mate ~  Both sexes kiss to evaluate a mate.  According to experts, the moment our lusty mouths meet, a very complex exchange of information begins to unfold…a sort of titillating tongue talk.  Our saliva and and breath are packed with pheromones and other biochemical signals telling us whether we’re genetically compatible…and give us clues on the health of our possible bed buddy.  We’re literally taste testing the merchandise.  Are they worthy of breeding?  Should we pursue the screw?  Do we rev our engines and step on the gas…or get out of the car altogether.  Without the “spark,” there’s no heat.  And a kiss tells us instantly whether there’s a spark.  We’re biologically driven to perpetuate the species.  So if we’re not genetically compatible, the body knows.  Result:  Kiss OFF!

Monitor the bond ~ This one belongs solely to the ladies.  Once we’ve decided the taste test is a success, we continue to lay it on him in hopes of raising his oxytocin level, which will -in turn – make him bond with us.  We want the bond because we know once we procreate, we need him to stick around and help with child rearing.  Then once we’ve sealed the bond, we further use the kiss to gauge the status of the relationship.  We’re in constant assessment mode, and use the tongue as a love thermometer.  Is he still committed?  Still hot for me?  Losing interest?  Not feeling it anymore?  Does he love me, or love me not?  As Cher put it, It’s in his kiss!

Score some booty ~ Men pucker up for the obvious reasons…sex, sex, and more sex.  Perfectly evolved mating machines, they use the kiss to get her hot and bothered.  To lure her to down ‘n’ dirty town.  The kiss is bait.  Sex…the prize.  Scientists say trace amounts of testosterone are found in his saliva and are passed on via the kiss to get her in the mating mood.  Instinctively he knows that stimulating her very sensitive lips and tongue will also stimulate her lower regions.  He also uses the kiss to help him determine how good the sex will be.  To let him know how receptive she is to mating.  He subconsciously perceives her level of wetness and salivary exchange during the kiss as a representation of her sexual receptivity during actual intercourse.  Is she hot, or not?  Ready, or not?  Research shows that men feel kissing should lead to sex.  Thank god for modern research!  😉  We may never have figured that one out on our own.  A hot lingering wet kiss means one thing to him.  Go ahead.  Lay it on him…he’ll rise to the occasion every time.

It seems the subconscious mind has us kissing for reasons we may or may not be aware of.  We’re cunning little kissers, no?  But aside from the drive to mate and bond, we kiss because we like it.  Because it’s fun.  Because it’s teasingly erotic and Oh so romantic.  And because…

Oh, who are kidding?  We want sex.

But when it comes to the kiss, ponder this.  Are there good kissers and bad kissers?  Or are the ones we perceive as bad simply not genetically compatible with us…therefore a sexual union not beneficial to the propagation of the species?  Are we nothing more than pawns in the game of banging biology?  Or do we make our own lip smacking rules?

Kiss or miss…

Get your tongues in a twist and find out.

Happy tonguing!

Chick Hughes

“A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.” ~Clare Whiting

 

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