Posts Tagged ‘music’
Coming home to a dark house, she wonders if he’s home. She opens the door to a dimly lit room and a trail of rose petals leading her to a Hallmark moment table adorned with wine, candles, and perfected place settings…a romantic candlelit dinner…a.k.a. the bait. Before she can take it all in, a glass of wine finds its way into her hapless hand. The day’s surplus problems race from her mind like children caught red-handed snooping through their dad’s forbidden box of “good articles.” It’s then that she notices a chocolaty drizzled message on her dinner plate: “No clothing. No option!” As she grapples to take in his strategically premeditated romantic gesture, he puts the last piece of the get-laid-tonight puzzle into place…and permeates the room with her favorite romantic love song. One sure to make her knees weak and her loins ache. Music and wine are intoxicating her. The puzzle is complete…now it’s time to “tear it up!”
the hunted ~ “Why sweetie, what a romantic candlelight mood!”
the hunter ~ “The better to relax you with my dear…”
hunted ~ “Why sweetie, what an interesting dining attire rule!”
hunter ~ “The better to see you with my dear…”
hunted ~ “Why sweetie, what delicious wine!”
hunter ~ “The better to woo you with my dear…”
hunted ~ “Why sweetie, what erotic music you’re playing!”
hunter ~ “The better to DO you with my dear…”
And the ravenous wolf devoured her…but not before she left her own passionate scratches of defense tatooed across his back.
Turns out music and sex have more in common than “I Want to Sex You Up” lyrics. They both cause the brain to release the chemical dopamine that’s responsible for making us experience pleasure and reward. While we’ve known that both eating and sex get our dopamine juices flowing, scientists now have proof that music is also a dopamine doozy. Studies prove that all types of music…from classical to punk, from jazz to bagpipes, from hip-hop to tango…all tickle the dopamine fancy. The studies were performed without lyrics, so it seems the music alone gives us the same high as sex. But it should come as no surprise that music provides such titillating pleasure, seeing as how most musical lyrics are consumed with love and sex…having always played up to our lovesick heartaches, heartbreaks, and booty shakes. So, sex and music undoubtedly go hand in “band.” The question is: Why do we sing our hearts out about our sex drought? Is it simply an outlet, or is music a subconsciously primitive means to a consciously sexual end?
Darwin believed the latter. His sexual selection theory suggested that music evolved to serve the same function as the rest of the animal kingdom…to mate. He viewed animal musical behavior such as the mating songs of birds, frogs, alligators, and whales as equal to the evolution of music for humans. Evidence of music dates as far back as the Paleolithic times, during which the first flute was created out of animal bone. In a time when survival and procreation were the only things on a busy caveman’s to-do list, what reason at all would he have for attempting to create music? It wasn’t necessary for food, fending off predators, or getting those pesky animal hairs out of his teeth. So, why spend time he could otherwise be hunting creating music? Why…to get the girl, of course. Darwin dubbed it a do-the-dirty methodology. He theorized that sounds generally evolved for the sole purpose of sex, which explains why music is a part of worldwide culture. But those sounds have continued to evolve along with human beings. With evolution, we’ve learned language…and thrown that lusty language in with our musically sexual quest. Interestingly, with the rise of feminism, men aren’t the only ones using music to their sexual advantage. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?”
Darwin’s sexual selection theory has historically been dismissed by some scientists. But if food, sex, and music all cause our brains to release dopamine, we have to wonder…why? Food, sex, and music have one common thread…they’re a means to an evolutionary end. Like the rest of the animal kingdom, we have but two evolutionary duties in life…survival and procreation. Food is a means to survival. Sex is a means to procreation. Music is a means to sex, it seems. Maybe we subconsciously use music as a mating dance just as the rest of the animal kingdom. Is it possible our brains have evolved to enjoy the things we need in order to survive and procreate. We eat a slice of steamy cheesy pizza…we feel pleasure because eating is necessary for survival. We hear climactic music, we feel pleasure because we anticipate sex. We have climactic mind-blowing sex…we feel pleasure because we may now procreate. Survival…check. Procreation…check. The continuation of the species…check. All in a hard day’s work for primitive caveman…or modern He-Man.
Yes! It seems, when it comes to music, the beat isn’t the only thing getting our booties bumping.
So, next time you see young girls swoon over the latest heartthrob boy band, or some unsuspecting woman throw her panties at a rock band with mile-high hair, makeup you could carve your name in, and a sickly toothpick frame…reflect on Darwin’s theory. And know that music just has that “feel good” effect on us. You could try to pull her from the wolf’s sexually hypnotic grip…enlighten her…warn her…
“Hey girl! He’s just trying to get to your nitty gritty with his witty ditty!”
But chances are she’s aware and dancing along to the ditty for HIS gritty.