Posts Tagged ‘intelligence’

De Lima

Throughout adolescence … when we just wanted to be noticed by our heartthrob obsession — throughout college… when we wanted that heartthrob to notice…AND nail us — we tended to mentally pair heartthrob with jock.  The jocks seemed to have it all, didn’t they?  Though they peaked in high school or college and were popular for only a few years, it seemed they would rule in the game of love for all eternity.  They strutted and boasted their “leader of the pack” badge proudly.  Adored by girls and envied by guys.  High school girls seductively swooned and college girls boldly went commando, all in efforts of landing the hot, brainless jock.  I guess every jock had his day.  But as we age, the jock may find his days are numbered.  Most adult women — I say most because some women never mentally left their dorm rooms behind — but most come to value brains over balls.  Why?  We finally realize there IS life after school.  We’re on a crash course with reality and quickly deduce that a jock is a great popularity ticket, but lousy life mate.  So,we’re on the hunt for a provider…a man who will be successful, make good money, and provide for that family we so long for.  After all, that IS the next step in our female existence, isn’t it?  Only thing is…those geeks we’ve avoided and ostracized all through school are the physical embodiment of both brains AND balls.  And we’ve given them the shaft.  But ironically, now we want their shaft!  😉

Geeks rejoice!  We now have scientific proof that jocks don’t have it all.  Scientists have found that more intelligent men have better sperm quality.  One particular study dating back to 1985 was recently reexamined, and scientists uncovered a connection between intelligence and sperm quality.  In this study, over 400 Vietnam War veterans (aged 31-44) were given a battery of intelligence tests — verbal and mathematical — and each had a sperm sample taken.  The men scoring above average on the intelligence testing were found to also have the best sperm…higher sperm count, higher concentration, and better mobility.  And the men scoring lower on the intelligence testing were found to have a lower sperm count, lower concentration, and weaker swimmers.

Some scientists claim that more intelligent men may have healthier sperm because they are likely to make more educated, better informed decisions in their lives, be more physically fit, and have white collar jobs with fewer health risks — all of which would, in turn, affect the health of their sperm.  However, this study was able to make adjustments for lifestyle factors such as smoking, drinking, drug use, abstinence, and obesity.  What they found was that lifestyle factors were irrelevant.  That an Einstein, whether a smoker, drinker, or obese pot head,  STILL had healthier sperm than a less intelligent man making healthier choices.   So, it looks like this claim has about as much potency as Joe Bob’s…or Uncle Rico’s… sperm.

Scientists are instead leaning towards genetics as an explanation for an intellect/sperm connection.  It is theorized that plain old good genes could be responsible for geek virility.  That intelligence AND sperm quality are traits influenced by the same gene.  They further theorize that intelligence has genetically evolved as a means of attracting a better mate.  The animal kingdom is constantly changing and evolving to keep the species thriving.  Male animals develop everything from the largest mane to the most alluring birdsong in competition for mates.  Basically, whatever “fluff” is needed to ensure successful mating, we’ll evolve, develop, and use that “fluff” as bait.

Could it be that intelligence is our modern day “fluff.”  We women no longer need our mates to protect us with brute strength.  Our present day caves are offices, suburban houses, and SUVs.  Survival in this world is achieved via intelligence.  And it seems intelligence and sperm spunk are biologically intertwined.  If intelligence level is a predictable indicator for sperm quality, we’re subconsciously attracted to it.  It’s our innate struggle to propagate.  So, if we seek out intelligence…and also score optimal sperm… we’re ensuring not only basic survival, but also excellent mating genes.  Check…and check!  If intelligence is a gene that has evolved to attract a mate, then perhaps the geeks are simply the most highly evolved males of our species…and the most virile.  Sad day for the jock…and his rhyming appendage.  ;0

It’s long been joked that men think with their little heads, rather than the ones atop their shoulders…but armed with this knowledge,  I wonder…maybe the joke is on us.  Maybe brains DO have balls.  🙂

Long live the geek!

Chick Hughes

“Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.” ~ Uncle Rico ~ Napoleon Dynamite


When it comes to sex, men seem to prefer beauty, boobs, and booty to brains.  Apparently, these are the qualification indicators for “high bangability.”  But, what boosts a man’s ego even more than “hitting” the hottest of the hot girls?  Her orgasmic talent…in a nutshell, if and how many times she climaxes.  Nothing makes a man feel more like a man than hearing her tantalizingly moan, groan, and make a “touchdown” in the end zone…over…and over…and over again.  But what he doesn’t know is that her ability to provide him that satisfaction is directly related to her emotions.  That rather than searching out that bodacious babe he has stamped in his mind who scores a 10 on bangability, he should be searching out an emotionally intelligent woman who will repeatedly validate his virility.  Of course, there’s always the chance he may find all of these qualities in ONE woman…if he can accomplish that, not only will he have every other heterosexual man’s green-eyed monster to contend with, but he’ll also have the “How to…” book market cornered. Men aren’t the only ones “standing at attention” at the mention of orgasm delight…women are even more interested in achieving the multi-orgasmic shudder-fest.  After all, it’s her world getting rocked.  He simply gets to enjoy the tremors.  So, what do our emotions have to do with our “bangability,”  and how do we convert it into “bangable bucks?”

Studies unanimously find that women with higher emotional intelligence (EQ) have better sex and more orgasms.   Yes ladies, intelligence pays…and it pays big…in the form of orgasmic currency.  EQ doesn’t refer to book smarts, ACT scores, or typical IQ scores.  So, your beautifully framed honor’s graduate degree from Harvard, your impeccable SAT scores, and your 4.0 average are all useful assets…on a resume…but of no use to you between the sheets.  Between the sheets, it’s your emotional intelligence that’s running the show, as well as the reruns. 😉

What exactly is emotional intelligence?  It’s a woman’s ability to accurately identify, accept, and convey her feelings to others…as well as identifying the emotions of those around her.   A highly emotionally intelligent woman is very much in touch with her feelings.  She is able to identify and utilize her own emotions (as well as those around her) to correctly solve emotion-related problems.  She is able to successfully combine her feelings with her logic and make a sound decision based on both.  Because she is able to recognize and convey her feelings to her partner, she’s likely to tackle relationship problems head on, rather than brushing them under a rug, suppressing them, and hoping they’ll never again rear their ugly head…lest she’ll stomp them back into the emotionless, orgasm deprived crack in the floor…where they belong.  She’s able to scan the faces of those around her and assess their feelings and thoughts.  Because she easily perceives emotions in others’ faces, she’s more aware and empathetic to their feelings.  She is also more adept at telling her partner what she likes and doesn’t like in the bedroom.  Who knew being bossy in the bedroom translated into “O, O, O?”

Women most in touch with their feelings experienced twice as many orgasms as their more inhibited girlfriends.  Studies also found that emotional intelligence isn’t determined by nature or genetics, but by nurture .  When sets of twins were tested, in every case, one twin tested high on EQ, while the other tested average, or low.  The twin rating highest on the EQ tests experienced more frequent orgasms and reported higher sexual satisfaction…obviously.  Because it’s said to be determined by nurture, we’re not stuck with whatever emotional intelligence we presently have.  It’s possible we can work on our emotional intelligence by focusing more on our feelings and effectively communicating those feelings to him.  Did I just hear every man moan in anticipation?  🙂  We can work to enhance it, or we can suppress and ignore our feelings… along with our orgasmic potential.  So, it seems sensitivity pays for women…and indirectly, for men, as well.

Men love to hate women who are overly in touch with their feelings, as it usually implies that he will also be expected to “share” sooner or later.  His idea of getting all touchy feely is, as we all know, not equivalent to her idea of getting all touchy feely.  But apparently, both versions will head in the same direction, eventually.     While he may not want to participate in the emotional commentary, he’s certainly eager to take credit for his sex partner’s “triple-header.”  After all, he really knows how to please a woman.  The proof is panting right in his awed, gratified face.

If we women learn how to use our emotional intelligence to our advantage, enhance our orgasm frequency, and rock his world, we could possibly reconstruct the “bangability” scale.   Too bad multiple orgasms aren’t advertised as readily as beauty, boobs, and booty.  But, let’s say a man is surveying his frequented gym…not for the perfect weight bench, but in hopes of triangulating the most “bangable” hottie within a 50 foot radius.  He’s found two such girls…both similar in physique and beauty, both wearing tight t-shirts while working the treadmill.  One girl’s t-shirt sports the Old Navy logo.  The other bears the bold words “Multiple Orgasms” with an arrow pointing south.  Which girl will he choose?  hmmm.  I wonder.

We know that men are visually stimulated.  Now, if only we could advertise our emotional intelligence with the same enthusiasm as our physical attributes, the possibilities would be endless.  And we would undoubtedly convert our EQ into “bangable bucks.”   Spend them wisely…redeem one orgasm at a time.

“Feel” your way.

Chick Hughes

photo by: Marinela

We routinely hear single, successful women complain bitterly about men’s insecurities , as if they somehow play helpless victim to them.  “I guess I’ll always be single.  Men are just too intimidated by my intelligence and success.”  “As soon as I tell them what I do, the conversation dies.”  “They never call me after the first date.  They can’t handle being with a more successful woman.”  “I keep two business cards to pass out to men:  one for my real career: CEO…one for my cover career…bank teller.  If I give them the CEO card, they can’t get away fast enough.”  Over and over, we hear this…from friends, movies, magazines, so on and so on.   A similar excuse is echoed by beautiful women.  “My beauty scares them away.  It intimidates them.”  I, for one, have never seen a man shy away from a woman simply because she’s too beautiful.  Men flock to beautiful women like hypnotized mosquitoes to a bug zapper on a dark summer night.  They can’t help themselves.  Beauty is intoxicating, it seems.  After hearing from men and employing careful consideration, I’m not so sure men ARE intimidated by beautiful, intelligent women.  Maybe some beautiful, intelligent women unwittingly sabotage the potential relationship with the one characteristic they don’t think men are paying attention to:  PERSONALITY.  Hasn’t this been our beef with men since we had the pleasure of hitting puberty?  “Why don’t men pay attention to my personality?”     “Why do they only care about looks?”  Beauty and brains, wonderful as they may be, do not conceal an arrogant superiority complex.  That little character detail can be a deal breaker.  Men putting personality over looks and brains?  Who knew?   Maybe our assumption that men are shallow and sex-obsessed has just returned for a big, juicy bite on our backside.

Of course, there are some men who find a beautiful, successful woman intimidating.  This probably stems from his lack of education, self-esteem and confidence in sustaining a relationship with such a woman.  If this is the case, the match is not a good one to begin with.  In the epic search for love, one tends to attract AND be attracted to a mate who can relatively match his/her wit and intelligence.   So, the question is WHO is it you’re scaring away?  Is it attractive, intelligent men who you perceive as intimidated?  Or is it men whose bulbs are slightly more dim with no replacement bulbs in sight?  If it’s the latter, then you’ve lost nothing as it wouldn’t have lasted anyway.  Less educated men will most likely be turned off by an intelligent woman only because he feels inferior.  Even the most intelligent men aren’t built to feel inferior to their mates – it’s not in their DNA.

An arrogant woman who uses her beauty and intelligence as a weapon to emasculate a man is probably only doing so because she’s overcompensating for her own insecurity.  In turn, once he’s run for the hills –  just as she predicted –  she’s just reaffirmed her notion that men are intimidated by her success.  Now her fears of being alone and her insecurities in attracting the opposite sex are spinning a dizzying web in her head.  This fear will instigate more arrogance.  See a pattern evolving?  Another hidden reason for her attempted dominance may be her way of rejecting him before she can be rejected herself.  If she can convince herself that he ran away like a frightened puppy because of her superiority, she can avoid facing the fear that threatens to rock her world:  It’s HER that men don’t want…not her beauty and success.  This revelation will unleash a war within herself , rather than her preferred war with the opposite sex.

Generally speaking, intelligent men will appreciate intelligent women, whether beautiful or average – and vice versa.  But here’s the million dollar question:  are you driving off all men?  If you are, then it’s likely not your beauty, brains, or success that’s doing the steering.  Odds are it’s your winning personality.  If you’re arrogant and coming across as if you perceive yourself as superior, why would a man (any man) want to get to know you better.  You’ve already told him all he needs to know:  He doesn’t want to KNOW you any better. Imagine you had the most beautiful, shiny apple you’ve ever seen.  All you can think about is taking a bite out it.  But before you get the chance to partake in that sinfully divine apple, you see the most vile, disgusting little worm peeking out through a tiny hole.  Now I ask you.  Would you want to continue and partake?  Or would you politely set it down and walk away?

No matter how beautiful or intelligent a woman is – if she’s self-absorbed, rude, and peering down at you from her stiletto heel high, she just went from desirable to SCARY in the blink of her Cover Girl mascara-coated eye.  While men, young and old, love to drown themselves in a  beautiful woman,  they prefer to be the one doing the drowning – not the one being held under and robbed of air.  At what point do we stop playing victim because we find it easier to blame the unsuspecting men for our personality flaws, which we’d rather not reflect on?   Maybe the old fallback line of “It’s not you…It’s me.”  holds more truth than we’d like to think and warrants closer examination.  So ladies, if you want to be irresistible to men, make sure you’re not letting your intelligence, success, or beauty  take the fall for your personality.  Remember: Be beautiful, be brainy, but lock the bitch in the kennel at home.

Chick Hughes

“Treating the whole world as if it works for you doesn’t suggest you’re special, it means you’re an ass. “~ Raina Kelley at Newsweek